So...here goes.
I am new to this blogging thing and looking for others who are new. Mostly because I am concerned about appearing totally stupid and unable to communicate properly. I am as usual years behind others who have been blogging forever!

I am recently retired for the second time and in the process of taking control of my life. I am trying to understand why at the age of 58 I am feeling anxious, out of shape, overweight, under-educated, and frustrated about where to begin.

I went to the Doctor to get control of my physical person. He put me through a series of tests that came back relatively fine and also refered me to a specialist. He also told me to lose weight and excercise. I started walking today!!
I am trying to stop taking so many medications and find my true self again. It is a bit like "coming out of the dark" or fog.
I went to the Dentist to get control of my teeth. The hygenist cleaned and scraped and said I needed a root canal and lots of flossing and brushing.
I went to the Psychologist to start a process for understanding. He wanted to know about my coverage options for payment and watched me cry. I tried to explain my frustration at feeling a lot like a failure. He continued to watch and say little. I canceled the next appointment.
I went back to church to contemplate the spiritual and seek a balanced perspective. My attendance is sporatic.
I am attempting to expand my knowledge and the results remain to be seen.
I am enjoying the free time but wondering about doing other things....I am feeling careful about commiting to anything that requires too much time or energy almost like being afraid of committment.
I am enjoying the Spring weather and contemplating gardening again...something I used to enjoy.
I am also enjoying time spent with the Grandchildren who recently moved close by. But, at the same time, am also not anxious to take on too much involvement. I am feeling a little selfish about that but I am wanting less anxiety about doing the right or wrong thing.
I am watching my husband struggle with less income than he thought we would have and I am concerned that we won't be able to do as much as we thought we might. But I am also wondering about what it is I really want to do? Not so much want to be a tourist but wanting to enjoy a few new things.